MBTS - You Are Worth It Program - Starts Here!
Chapter 1-1
You can read every self-help book ever written and still you will not change.
Reading a book WILL NOT change you. You have to change yourself.
Some Basics
So you want to improve your life do you? Well let me tell you that out of the thousands of Self-Help books available, none of them are going to help you. You could actually read a thousand of these books and yet nothing in your life will change, except perhaps you now have something new to talk about with your friends.
Do not feel too bad though since there are millions of people just like you. We read the books, take the courses, buy the expensive seminars on tape (CD's) and tell ourselves how wonderful life will be with our newly created selves. So why do not we actually change permanently for the better? Because there are very few programs that will tell you that it takes time, repetition, encouragement from others, and the belief that you are changing yourself to make the world a better place.
In general, everyone reacts to life events in many similar ways, yet each individual will also have their own unique perceptions. For example, look at two people both raised in identical, unhealthy environments. One becomes a psychopath, the other a missionary. Why is this? Why does the same thing occur in healthy environments? Scientists, doctors, social workers, etc. are quick to point the finger at heredity, living conditions, school, number of siblings, single parents, relatives and numerous other factors, which of course are all valid points, yet none of them are steadfast rules. The basic question remains, what makes us the way we are?
What it comes down to is; your perception of everything that occurred in your life. It is a biological fact that no two people will perceive the same event the same way, since every brain is wired differently starting inside the womb. Therefore, even if you have a twin and you are both subjected to the same past conditions you will both have your own unique perceptions. Even if you describe as accurately as possible what your perception is to your twin, he may understand, but when your perception enters his brain it is automatically biased by his perceptions.
There is no way at this time to know exactly how a person’s perception colours their world. Maybe one day a computer will be able to read minds, but do not forget you need one computer to read your twin’s mind to obtain his perceptions and a second computer with your thought processes built in to filter the results so they closely match your perceptions. Then whatever your computer spits out will be close to how you would actually interpret someone else’s perceptions. I say close because your brain is not necessarily predictable in the pathways it will use in processing information.
Well, no matter what the root causes may be you must realize that you can change yourself. This includes eliminating self-defeating thought patterns, erroneous assumptions about others, and non-acceptance of the need to change.
Remember, if you change yourself, the people around you will notice a difference first, even though you may think “I don’t feel any different” believe me you will soon notice how effective the positive changes really are. Eventually you will notice a difference in yourself and it feels wonderful when you smile at yourself for the first time.
If you hold any notion that changing yourself is only to benefit the way you deal with life's crap than you will fail. Attempting to change because nobody can tolerate your crap is doomed to fail as well. The world seems to lean toward mediocrity at best and most people can't even live up to that standard.
We are social creatures and bearing that in mind it will soon become obvious that for your positive changes to occur they must inherently benefit the world around you. Deep inside most of us is the urge to improve the herds overall well being. Whether you realize it or not if the herd does not approve your changes you will soon give up any new behavioural changes you may have actually achieved. This will occur no matter if the change is positive or negative.
But the worst possible thing that can happen is striving to change for weeks and months and you feel as if you made real progress, yet nobody seems to notice any difference in you or attitude. Disheartening to say the least isn't it?
There are several reasons this may occur. If the changes you present are only cosmetic such as smiling when you do not want to, telling a person they did a great job on something when you both know that is not true, saying you will gladly do something even though you resent being given the task, etc. People, even total strangers will know that you are not sincere; that you have not changed who you really are at a core level, and perhaps worse you still think that people will love you for trying to be nice. Actually it has the opposite effect, they will resent being treated as ‘children’ who do not know they are being lied to.
1 - 2
Being Worth It
So why then is so difficult for so many people? What do you actually have to do in order to change yourself for the better? Primarily, you have to convince yourself of three rock solid, unchanging principles.
1) I am worth it!
2) YOU are worth it!
3) WE are worth it!
1) I AM WORTH IT – You must believe that you have the right to change yourself. Above all else, you must convince yourself of
one very important fact: “I Am Worth It!”
You have to absolutely convince yourself that not only are you capable of changing yourself, but also that deep
inside you know you can.
If you listen to others who tell you things like; “You can't change, you're too old” or “Nobody can change what or who they are” or
“I know someone who tried to change and they ended up worse, than when they started” you must dismiss these statements.
They do not apply to you because you now know that deep in your mind, heart and soul that “I Am Worth It” and it is my right to
feel this way. I am important enough to the world that my beliefs can and will make a difference.
2) YOU ARE WORTH IT – The old adage “If you want to keep it you have to give it away” is very apropos. There is very little in
this world that can come close to the feelings you will achieve if you can help to convince another that they are worth changing.
But never uses negatives or you will most likely not succeed, don't say things like “You are a bad person and need to change” or
“You might be successful if only you changed _______ about yourself”.
Use phrases such as “Improve yourself and the world follows along” which is true since if you improve, your attitude and
perceptions change and when these change you will see the world in a much more positive light. When you are strong, positive
and have faith in yourself and those around you, others will begin to treat you differently. They will admire and respect you and
then they too will pass it along to others.
You must truly believe that everyone in the world has the right to and deserves the same rights you feel yourself to deserve.
3) WE ARE WORTH IT – Apply this when dealing any group of two or more. You must firmly believe that everyone in your group
is capable of adding to the group’s health. You must believe that you and your group are worth improving together; even if
someone in your group is not willing to change, you might be surprised at the support they will give you because you believe in
them.
Do not forget that a group is also considered to be; you and a close friend, a relative, or a spouse. You will find that the more
intimate your knowledge of the other person the faster you and he/she will improve.
VERY IMPORTANT ! If you truly are alone in quest to improve your life than use a mirror and still use the above phrases. You will
find that saying these phrases aloud while gazing into a mirror will allow them to be absorbed at a different level
than by just saying the phrases to yourself in your mind’s eye.
Let it sink in to your core that every part of you is worth it.